I was grateful that we both got the same answer, but that just put us back to square one. I felt we needed to have another one while Stephen did not. Months passed as I tried to comes to terms that we might be done having kids, and then all of sudden I found myself pregnant with our fourth child. To say I was terrified to tell Stephen is an understatement. We spent a few weeks in Idaho over the summer and the week we got back home is when I found out. I had no idea how or when I was going to tell Stephen. Every time I tried to muster up the courage to tell him I chickened out and I sat on it for at least a week or longer until I just couldn’t wait anymore. I was afraid of how he would react, but I finally spilled the beans one night before getting into bed, and his reaction surprised me. He wasn’t at all mad like I thought he’d be and it immediately put me at ease. He even smiled! What a relief!
This pregnancy came with all the normal side affects like nausea and a very strong aversion to sweets. Anything with sugar in it made me nauseated even if it was something savory, if it was too sweet tasting I couldn’t eat it. That lasted the first trimester and half of the second which was a good thing because then I didn’t gain extra weight from snacking on sweets. The one thing I really wanted to eat all the time were Lays sour cream and onion chips. I could go through a whole bag by myself in one sitting if I really wanted to, and I wanted to but didn’t. About that same time I started getting the pelvic floor pain that has always come with pregnancy. It gradually got worse and worse and by the end of the third trimester; it was really hard to move or lift my legs at all. I had a much smaller belly this time compared to my other pregnancies and I think I gained the least amount of weight too. I carried him really low which I had never done before. I actually enjoyed feeling him move and kick around in there. And boy was this kid active! I’ve never had a baby move constantly and with such force. I wanted to enjoy this pregnancy as much as I could knowing it would be my last. I also knew I didn’t want to induce labor but let it go naturally. It was hard waiting especially since there were zero signs of labor on my due date.
I decided to get my membranes stripped to see if that would kick start labor. I was really optimistic, but the next day came and went, and the day after that and nothing happened. So I went back to the clinic to get it done again. This time it didn’t hurt as bad, and they said it should work this time. Another day passed and nothing happened. Then I finally started to get some constant contractions, yay! And of course they had to start and go through the night so I got very little to no sleep. By morning they started to slow down and quit altogether. I was really disappointed. By 2:00 in the afternoon they gradually started again for two hours and then they started getting stronger and closer together. I decided to try to walk through them and move around to see if that eased the pain better than just laying still like I did with Zander. A couple more hours passed and I was very uncomfortable and timing the contractions at five minutes apart and then they'd go to ten minutes apart so I knew it wasn't time to go to the hospital yet even though I wanted to. by about 6:30 they hadn't slowed down at all but they were becoming a lot more intense and I could hardly stand it, so I called the midwife to see if I could come in. I just wanted to be dilated to a 4 so that I could stay at the hospital and get an epidural. I talked to the midwife on call and she wasn't convinced that I was ready to come in yet. Mind you, I have a pretty high pain tolerance so I know if I can't handle it then it's definitely time to go in. The only thing stopping me was that even though the contractions were super intense and there was a huge amount of pressure they weren't coming close enough together for me to leave.
The midwife suggested I stay home longer and try to sleep or take a bath (insert eye roll here). Even though I really, really wanted to go to the hospital I stayed home like she suggested. I also tried to take a nap (not possible when you're in labor) at 9:00 pm I couldn't take it any more and was just about in tears as I called the midwife again and told her I had to come in. She was still skeptical that I was in active labor and tried to talk me out of it. I told her I was coming because I couldn't bear the pain anymore. The baby was actually kicking and moving around during the contractions! I didn't even know babies could move during that time, but this one did and it was excruciating. The midwife she said it was fine if I came in, but the best she could do for me was to check to see how far dilated I was and give me some pain meds before sending me back home. I hung up on her, haha. I called my friend who was going to be staying with the kids over night and Stephen and I headed out. It was a 15 minute drive to the hospital. By the time I got checked in and changed into a gown and the midwife showed up it was close to 10:00. I really couldn't talk anymore all I could do was moan, and moan loud, because for some reason it helped me focus and get through the pain. The nurse commented that when you hear moaning that usually means the woman is fairly far along, so the midwife did a quick exam and announced that I was dilated to a 7! That's how far I was when I got to the hospital with Zander too. I couldn't believe I was that far along, but I was relieved because I knew I was going to be admitted. I couldn't get the epidural fast enough. The nurse and midwife also commented on much the baby was moving because he kept kicking the monitor off my belly. I kept asking for the epidural over and over until the doctor finally showed up. That was the most painful epidural I've ever had. I don't usually feel the needle because I'm too focused on the pain of the contractions, but I felt every bit of that one, and actually yelled owe, owe, owe!
As soon as the epidural kicked in it was sweet relief. I was shaking uncontrollably since we left the house and it just got worse as he tried putting in the epidural. I apologized to Stephen for being so shaky but it was out of my control. It was like my body was going into shock from all the pain I was in. Anyway, I was able to relax a little and close my eyes for bit, not sleep, but close them so I could focus. within two hours of me coming to the hospital it was time to push. This was the longest and hardest baby I had to push (which wasn't that long) I only had to push through three contractions so it was around 10 minutes. Out he came and into my arms at 12:24 am. The midwife made a comment that my belling was all baby and lots of fluid like I had an abnormal amount of fluid in there.
Stephen and I had a beautiful 7.4 pound, 20.5 inch long, red headed baby boy. I instantly fell in love. What a way to start off the "day" on our 11 year wedding anniversary! I held him and nursed him for two hours after delivery and he stayed awake the whole time. He wasn't sleepy in the slightest. We had no idea what we were going to name him, but we were all really tired and looking forward to getting some sleep. Stephen left the hospital at 3:00 as I was settling into the recovery room.
We thought we had a name, but he just didn't look like it. For the first half of my pregnancy I had settled on the name Dean and secretly, in my head, tried to refer to the baby as Dean because I liked the name so much. It is a family name after my Grandpa Watson's twin brother Dean Watson. It wasn't until two thirds of the way through my pregnancy that I asked Stephen to come up with some names that he liked because I knew he wouldn't like mine. I told him I liked Dean but he wasn't sold on it. So we made a tiny list and I kept Dean at the top. Over the next few weeks the list grew to seven names. The runner up to Dean was Amos. We both liked it. I was looking for a strong, old fashion name and both those names fit the bill. Going to the hospital we were both thinking he was going to be an Amos, but the second I laid eyes on him I knew it wasn't meant to be. I was kind of bummed because I knew I wasn't going to get Dean either, so I had no idea what we were going to name him. Over the next 24 hours while I was recovering in the hospital and Stephen was at home we both looked at our list and started crossing off one name after the next. We hadn't spoken to each other about a name but we were doing the same thing. Another name on the list was Roman which was one that Stephen really liked, but I didn't. Before Stephen came back to the hospital to take me home I had crossed off all but two names on the list. They were Grayson and Roman much to my utter surprise. I hadn't seriously considered Grayson at all, but here it was staring me in the face. When Stephen came in the room we needed to finish all the paperwork, so I told Stephen that I had two names left. Stephen told me he had two names left too. Intrigued I asked him what they were, and he replied Grayson and Roman. We both had the same names! So I knew we were on the right path. We went back and forth until ultimately settling on Grayson Dean (Stephen let me me keep it as the middle name since it was a family name).
The older kids were anxiously waiting for our return so they could meet their new baby brother. They all fell in love with him too fighting over who got to hold him first. Hannah won that one. I am so glad everything worked out and he is healthy and I finally get to hold him in arms. Welcome to the family Grayson!
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