Get to Know You Birthdays

A year and half ago before we moved into our new house I was 8 months pregnant with Hannah. I was nervous about moving to a new ward and neighborhood because how was I going to get to know people? I was a few weeks away from having a baby and with two young boys in tow I didn’t know how to get out and meet people. I told myself that this was a fresh start and that I wanted to meet people and make some friends. I really miss having close friends.

Hannah arrived four weeks after moving into the new house, and I found myself busy being a mom to three kids under three. I am shy and an introvert, so striking up a conversation with someone was scary and very awkward for me.

In about October I found myself thinking about some people in my old ward and one dear woman came to mind. Her name was Susan. She was so sweet and would leave me a gift on my birthday on my doorstep almost every year we lived in that house. One year stood out to me because she had left a unique vase with little purple violets floating on top that she had picked from her own garden with a birthday card. I was so touched by the simplicity and thoughtfulness of this gift that I thought to myself, why don’t I do what Susan did for me and take a birthday card to all the women in the ward on their birthdays? It was a good idea and I loved the thought of it, but as the days, weeks, and months went on, I kept brushing the idea off thinking that I’m too shy and awkward and it would be too much work throughout the year to do it; I’ll think of something else.

December came and there was one week left of the year. I was sitting in Relief Society that last Sunday when I got a very real very urgent feeling that I needed to take birthday cards to all the sisters in the ward. I thought, “Oh no, this again? I don’t want to do it, I’m too shy!” But the feeling only intensified to the point that I could feel my face flush and get red; I started sweating and panicking like I do when I have to speak in sacrament meeting or raise my hand in class to make a comment.

I finally said to myself, “Ok, if this is important enough for the spirit to tell me I need to do it, then I’ll do it.” The next day I went out to buy birthday cards and found that candy bars were on sale 2 for a dollar, so I bought about a dozen or so to put with my cards to hand out. I was ready to go as soon as the Relief Society newsletter was sent out with the list of birthdays for the month.

January came and I began my journey. I was feeling rather excited about it which was very unexpected. Each month had around 12-15 birthdays. As I delivered each card I quickly found out that the list also included women who were inactive, and that scared to me to death. How was I supposed to wish someone happy birthday whom I had never met and introduce myself without some kind of introduction like “Hi, I’m Christine Washburn from the ward I just moved in.....” I thought I could just leave the card on the doorstep instead of having to talk to them in person, but that thought was quickly kiboshed by the spirit telling me, “No, you need to knock on the door.”

I knew not everyone would want a candy bar like those with diabetes or other medical or dietary issues, so I had a few other things on hand, and gave out gifts like cute post-it notes and a pen, and hand towel sets. The only problem was trying to figure out who was in need of getting them instead candy. I really relied on the spirit to let me know what to say in each card and which gift to give. I wrote each card on the person’s birthday never ahead of time (unless I was going out of town. Then I’d write those cards and have Stephen drop them off for me on their birthday. Thanks Stephen!)

This whole experience has been SO good for me. Not only did I meet and get to know the sisters in Relief Society, but also the sisters in primary and young womens. It really has been such a blessing. The inactive sisters that I visited were just glad to meet someone new from the neighborhood. Not only did I get to know names and families, but I also got to know where everyone lives!

Not once did I have anyone ask how I knew it was their birthday. There was one women that I didn’t know I delivered to and talked to her and her husband for a few minutes. I later found out that, that woman disliked Mormons so much she would not even talk to anyone if she knew they were a member. I’m so glad I got to speak to her! Her husband is an active member and they are both very nice people.

I’ve had so many wonderful experiences with my deliveries that I’ve kept a log about all the reactions from people. I had many people text me to say thank you; I’ve had a few phone calls and sisters catch me at church to say thank you in person. I even had a sister deliver cookies back to me as a thank you for making her feel special and thought of on her birthday.

One of the first birthdays I delivered in January was to a young mom of three kids just like me. She was home alone with her kids trying to get them in bed. I quickly introduced myself and wished her a happy birthday and said my goodbye. She later texted me that night and thanked me for coming by because she was feeling lonely because her husband had to leave for a work trip that morning on her birthday, so she was left to celebrate alone. She was so touched that someone would come to brighten her day when she was feeling sad. We ended up making plans for a play date with our kids so we could get to know each other better.

I got a lot of hugs from these sisters whom many of them I just didn’t know yet. One day last year Lucas sneaked out of the house without me knowing. He had been missing for at least 15 minutes and I had turned the house upside down. I ran outside searching the garage, the yard, the neighbor’s yards, and decided to run down the street to see if he had wandered off when, down the road, I I saw him with a woman and her son following him to make sure he got home safe. I talked to her for a few minutes and she lives down the street and around the corner. I was very grateful to her for looking out for my two year old runaway. In February I delivered a birthday to a house; when she opened the door this woman looked familiar, then it dawned on me that she was the one who found Lucas last summer! She is an inactive member but so sweet!

In March I knocked on the door of a woman I wished happy birthday to; she was so jovial and happy and invited me in for a minute to get to know a little bit. She has two older boys and I asked her if I had seen her in Relief Society before and she sheepishly said, “No, but I guess I should start going though!” She was inactive.

I had another older lady who called me up to make an appointment for us to get together to get to know each other better. I loved it! I have to admit I was a little nervous at first because she’s like in her 60s or so and I don’t know how to relate to people who don’t have young kids, but man, am I SO glad we got together! I just love her. She was so patient with my kids who apparently decided to throw a circus in our house while she was visiting. Lots of yelling and playing and showing off, but she didn’t mind one bit and played and talked to them too.

As the weeks turned into months I looked forward to delivering my birthdays and even took the boys with me to walk to the houses around our neighborhood. They really enjoyed it too. One warm April evening I set out to deliver a birthday with the boys when we walked passed three women from the ward going on a walk. I wasn’t sure who they all were as I was still trying to learn names. When they stopped to talk and say hi one of them asked me whose birthday it was that I was delivering to. I was confused at first because I hadn’t told anyone what I was doing, but I guess people talk and the word had soon gotten out what I was up to.

One of my neighbors down the street texted me to say thank you. That Sunday she sat next me and talked with me afterward and said, “I wanted to thank you again in person. I don’t know if you were inspired or what to drop off that gift for me, but I was grateful to find a surprise on my doorstep (she was not home when I dropped it off) it really touched me to know that someone was thinking of me.” She went on to explain that she had been in the hospital with her dad because he had just been in a car accident that morning. When she got home she saw my gift and it brightened her day.

There were many times throughout the year that I ended up, somehow, delivering birthdays to the wrong house. I did this to one house and found out that the woman I was looking for had moved out a year ago! But I got to talk to these neighbors who weren’t members and got to know them too.

I delivered a birthday to a house where the woman I was looking for had moved out four days prior and the new owners had just moved in the day before I got there. This new owner was already in our ward and as it turned out she really needed a friend to help her get through a tough time.

Another neighbor was so touched that she called me and invited me to go on a walk with her one morning so we could talk and get to know each other better. It was so fun! I enjoyed it so much we got together again.

I even received thank you cards in the mail. There were several instances where people would invite me in for a few minutes to talk or just sit out on the front porch and talk. Sometimes we would end up taking for an hour or more. One woman I went to visit apparently really needed someone to talk to. She invited me in and talked and talked telling me her whole life story and about her family and work. I really enjoyed it. 

Another house I went to had all her family home and she invited me in to meet everyone and have donuts and a root beer float. 

I even had a visit with a sister who asked about my experiences since doing this and told me I should write about it and send it into the ensign. She has been so impressed and overjoyed that I was doing this. She wanted to know what my inspiration was so I told her about Susan and her gifts over the years. 

There was one house that I didn't get the response I was used to. I didn't know these people so I was looking forward to meeting them. I knocked on the door and could hear people talking in the house. No one would answer the door. Someone even peeked out the window and looked straight at me and still refused to open the door, so I left it on the doorstep. A few weeks later on the ward Facebook page this person took a picture of the card and candy I left for her and asked to know who left it for her on her doorstep because she wanted to meet me. I messaged her back and told her it was me and apologized because apparently I had forgot to sign my name on the card. I must have gotten distracted while writing it that I forgot to sign it. Several weeks passed and I didn't hear back from this gal until last week she messaged me and explained that she was new in the ward and has two diseases that prevent her getting out of her house and even out of her bed most of the time. She said she'd like to meet me and to make an appointment with her through text because she loves visitors. She used to be an elementary teacher until the disease got so bad she had to quit. She doesn't answer the door to people unless she knows who they are or if someone is expected to come over. 

So many great experiences and friends have been made this year. I’m so grateful I listened to the spirit and stuck it out. There were times, especially towards the end of year, that I found myself just wanting to be done, but it has truly been rewarding and everyone knows who I am, but I’m still working on remembering names. Not only did I get to know sisters in the ward, but all my neighbors. I feel so much more comfortable talking to people even if I’m still a little awkward.