Dave

 I cried after I got out of the shower today. Like, I slumped on the floor in my towel and cried out loud. I don't know what spurred it on, but a wave of grief just hit me out of nowhere as my thoughts turned to my father-in-law, Dave. I am so sad that he is gone. I only got to know him for a short 12 years. He was such a gentle and likable man who always had a joke to tell. In fact, he was still telling jokes up until the day he died. I love that Stephen doesn't really remember his dad ever yelling or getting mad at him growing up because I could see that in him. You just had to know that you disappointed him and that was enough for Stephen to know he did something wrong. I was reminiscing back to when Stephen and I were first married--before Dave's parkinsons got worse and we would go to mom and dad's house for dinner and play cards. Dave liked to be in the kitchen cooking and in the middle of conversation. He loved listening to everyone talk and laugh at our family get-togethers.

One of our traditions at Bear Lake every year is sitting around the table playing Hearts because it was one of Dave's favorites. this year was our first year without him there, so we played a few rounds in honor of him, and Stephen did a perfect impression of him yelling, "Dive! Dive! Dive!" that made me miss him in that moment. Dave was so handsome; Rachel put together a photo book of Pat and Dave's life together for their 50th wedding anniversary a few years ago. It is so fun looking at those old photos of the high school sweethearts.

As quickly as my mind filled joy and sadness in that moment of grief in the bathroom, it turned to anger in the blink of an eye. I was mad that I didn't get to know him as much I should have or could have. It wasn't very long after I joined the family that his parkinsons started to get a little worse every year. And it wasn't just his tremors, he wouldn't talk as much when we got together as a family and it became less and less until he had his stroke and couldn't talk even when he wanted to. It was really hard to hear and understand him. I didn't get very much time with him in his good years, and it makes me angry. And it made me and angry and sad especially, because my kids won't ever know their Grandpa Washburn like I did. They will only remember him being in a wheelchair after his stroke. They won't remember his laugh and the twinkle in his eye as his laughter filled the room. They don't get the hear him tell stories or play games with him, and it just makes me sad. 

I am forever grateful and feel so lucky, or blessed rather, to have met such a kind and caring young man in college whom I get to call my husband for the past 12 and half years. I remember after Stephen and I got engaged I wrote an email to his mom thanking her for raising such a great man. I love my in-laws--all of them. They are a great blessing in my life. 

Fall Break

 We decided to have a little staycation in Provo this year for our fall break. We took the kids to Witch Fest at Gardner Village where we saw all sorts of cool witches and animatronic Halloween décor. They each got to choose something at the witch store to wear so we got a couple witches hats and brooms, and Lucas chose sunglasses. Then they got to play on a few little amusement rides and play games, and take a ride on the train. After that we headed to Provo where we had dinner in this really cool restaurant that had hundreds of games you could play as you eat dinner. We playing Exploding Kittens, then we took a Halloween cruise on the Provo river at sundown. We had a pirate captain tell us stories and jokes, another pirate tried to take over the boat and steal our treasure. The kids had to turn it in to him and our captain gave them candy in return. It was a short ride, but really fun. We headed back to the hotel in Draper and let the kids eat popcorn in bed while they watched a show as they fell asleep. The next morning we had breakfast and went for swim in the pool before spending the rest of our day at Cornbelly's. The kids had a great time; the weather was perfect and they got to ride some of the rides this year. We packed a lot into our weekend and had a blast!

Family Update

 Both boys got play a sport of their choosing this fall. Zander did another year of flag football, and Lucas chose to try soccer. I'll be honest, I didn't know if Lucas would even really play or if he'd just goof off, but he surprised us both and was one of the best players on his team. Soccer is game with lots of running, so there would be times where all the kids would tire out and not want to keep playing, but they had a great year. Lucas' team was the cheetahs and he thoroughly enjoyed playing a team sport.

Zander loved his time playing flag football; six weeks wasn't long enough, but he has improved his game quite a bit from last year and it was so fun to watch him run the ball down the field for a touch down and be so quick to grab those flags from the other team. He's really fast and just loves the game.

Hannah and Grayson pal around the house all day playing and making messes together. They are like two peas in pod. They also like to follow me around and play which I enjoy too. It's fun having them around and getting to take small trips with just the two of them when I run errands.

Hannah started doing tumbling. She was really shy not wanting to doing anything for the first month, but she's grown to love it and enjoys getting to play with other girls her age for hour. Then we go to library to get new books to read at home. Hannah is becoming more imaginative with her play time. She likes to watch Ryan's World and do all the experiments and activities she sees on tv. She loves reading, princesses and treasure, legos and blocks, and has a fun time making up stories for her and Grayson to play along to.

Grayson is now 18 months. He's talking more and more all the time and is quite opinionated and stubborn when he doesn't get what he wants. He likes to take his blanket with him everywhere he goes and raid everyone's closets and put on their shoes. He has become very independent always wanting to do things by himself including walking down stairs facing forward instead of going down backwards. This gives mom mini heart attacks every time I see him near the stairs. If only he'd turn around!