Motherhood

I took this picture last month because I was really proud of myself. To an outsider it might look like a bunch of kids who rolled out of bed and quickly got ready for church. They're disheveled looking, sad, angry, and mismatched. But what you don't see is that Stephen was out of town that day. I sent him away to the cabin for a Father's Day retreat so he could decompress and have some time to himself. Most of the kids that morning were angry and yelling at me and three of them told me they were not going to church. I kept my cool. All morning. I did great! I helped them all get ready (minus my oldest; he is always on top of things on Sundays) What you might not know is the happiest of the bunch in this picture hates going to church the most. He refused to come into the building for 4 weeks straight. My daughter was anxious and upset because her church shoes didn't feel right that day and she couldn't put them on. I also made her change her dress because she kept wearing the same dress several weeks in a row and it was dirty. She begrudgingly changed and I let her wear her clogs so she at least felt comfortable. I had to bargain with my youngest just to get him to wear a tie that day. He hates wearing ties. He also didn't want to wear his church shoes, so I let him wear his sharks. Everything in this picture is a win for me even though it may not look like it. My family may not look or be perfect, but they are perfect for me. I love having the privilege of being their mom. Some days I have to make compromises and let go of little things that shouldn't matter like wearing shark shoes to church. But I got every one of my four kids dressed, in the car, and to church on time that day even though I struggled that whole morning. I love my kids more than they could ever know. They are all I have ever wanted (and Stephen) my whole life. I have everything I ever dreamed of since I was a little girl. God is good. And so is my family.